|
Post by Lemony on Aug 28, 2008 13:19:33 GMT -5
Beloved composer
Rotating kisses frame delight
Sunday smooth, misplaced butterfly
Arranged alongside garden doom
|
|
|
Post by tsu on Aug 30, 2008 11:41:18 GMT -5
this has a calm feeling.."rotating kisses frame delight"..such a lovely line! hope to see you here again!
|
|
|
Post by Astarael ~ Enduring on Aug 31, 2008 20:38:28 GMT -5
simple but beautiful, i agree with tsu that line (rotating kisses frame delight) was just lovely.
|
|
|
Post by bcoyotey on Sept 3, 2008 19:07:22 GMT -5
Lemony, This has a rounded feel. I like the surprise of the last line.
Welcome to TPS! Lady B
|
|
|
Post by Vogelvrij on Sept 10, 2008 5:02:54 GMT -5
I like it. It's simple, but I guess almost all drops of poetry poems are simple, and simple isn't bad. The second line is best indeed.
|
|
|
Post by matw63 on Sept 12, 2008 7:30:15 GMT -5
i think you have painted a picture of a sunday afternoon in the backgarden very well. i too like the lines that tsu and lady b pointed out. keep writing
|
|