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Post by angelbyaccident on Sept 28, 2008 21:38:38 GMT -5
[shadow=red,left,300]-unscathed-[/shadow] ruining my final draft with scratches and substitutions it is lacking faith and resolution i'm ruining my final draft finding mouldy balls of rats' tails and heads pushed to the back of my closet sitting alongside all those skeletons that they have so long represented But, oh!, on the contrary The silent prayers of the non-religious clench my stomach. i'm almost apologetic... almost. The dread and woe that envelopes me now, as i try to end my prose, has held me captive all these years and now it’s curling back the edges allowing me to emerge... unscathed.
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Post by bcoyotey on Sept 29, 2008 21:01:47 GMT -5
Oh. Angel, this drops piece is very potent. I felt such intensity and the flow is smooth. My fave part is,
finding mouldy balls of rats' tails and heads pushed to the back of my closet sitting alongside all those skeletons that they have so long represented
Bravo! Lady B
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Post by olivialuka131313 on Sept 30, 2008 8:42:56 GMT -5
'ruining my final draft' Messing up my last chance. Very powerful. I agree with Lady B on the favourite stanza front, but that first one was still the perfect intro. I love this, exalt when possible, great work.
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Post by Forest on Oct 2, 2008 1:51:45 GMT -5
I need to visit this section more often, there are some great poems to be found in here! This one is no exception. I like the last two stanzas the best, especially the last two lines of the third. I like the flow of the story too. Very nice!
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Post by angelbyaccident on Oct 4, 2008 21:33:21 GMT -5
thanks guys
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Post by tsu on Oct 6, 2008 10:20:16 GMT -5
But, oh!, on the contrary The silent prayers of the non-religious clench my stomach. i'm almost apologetic... almost.
i love this stanza..truly a wonderful ceation from drops!
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Post by cari on Oct 10, 2008 6:09:51 GMT -5
I feel that you have stepped back from emotion to allow this piece to read lucid and very clear to the reader, an axiom that many more should follow. Guess what? I have found another skilful poet; I shall be reading more from you
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Post by angelbyaccident on Oct 11, 2008 19:24:35 GMT -5
wow. thanks guys. thank alot
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