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Post by StatueInTheGarden on Oct 26, 2010 1:37:20 GMT -5
October breezes bitten lips Autumn flowers exchanged ventures
Planned rituals stiff coughs pretend tears endless myth
Puzzled faces sabotaged fears freak kisses satire love
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Post by (k) shades of silence on Oct 26, 2010 8:27:07 GMT -5
This seems like a Halloween party to me. I enjoyed the sensory language and must absolutely commend you on your use of the Drops!
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Post by girlwiththepearls on Oct 30, 2010 16:42:08 GMT -5
I enjoyed the short line breaks--it really led to a juxtaposition of the different images, making them even more resonant. I found the tone interestingly ambiguous, as normally happy ideas, "kisses" or "love," are warped by their respective adjectives, making the reader further consider their meaning. Well done.
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Ozz
Wandering Muse
Posts: 83
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Post by Ozz on Nov 2, 2010 17:28:15 GMT -5
I picked some contrast between, as you say, "kisses", and "love", versus "tears", and "puzzled faces". However you manged to make it work. Bravo.
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Post by windowflower on Jan 2, 2011 21:54:42 GMT -5
this would make for an orchestrated ceremony
enjoyed it..
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