|
Post by Riverrose ~April!!!~ on Apr 17, 2011 12:40:09 GMT -5
In the mirrors youth builds staggers smoke When the compliments in fashion rid Relevance of fruit; ribbons attack endeavor, then reaches behind to poor instinct.
Under equivalent obstruction Must guidance rot beneath a bog; Weighs wrongs across leaders, silent unsafe hazard cloud drill slices In lecture, hogs wide idea Spaces, next steals flower fragrance. Another fool leaks bright color under anchor.
...yeah...sorry if that made no sense..but I'm curious to know what everyone thinks it means.
|
|
|
Post by bcoyotey on Apr 17, 2011 16:31:02 GMT -5
Seems to be a caution on becoming so worried about surface appearances and current trends that the sense of self becomes lost. Made perfect sense to me, unless I am way off.. In which case I apologize! Lady B
|
|
|
Post by Riverrose ~April!!!~ on Apr 17, 2011 17:52:07 GMT -5
Yes! That's about what I was aiming for, at least in the first stanza. The second one was more about how being too absorbed in fashion AND also technology (which is kind of impossible to figure out because I never mention it) can "hog wide idea spaces" losing the ability to think of ideas themselves. And also "steals flower fragrance" losing admiration/respect for nature and beauty. -thanks for the review!
|
|
|
Post by - Moirae - on Apr 18, 2011 7:20:53 GMT -5
"Spaces, next steals flower fragrance. Another fool leaks bright color under anchor."
I thought that these lines were incredibly thought provoking and graceful. They were my favorite of the poem. I think the fact that the intention isn't spelled out directly for the reader makes this poem more intriguing, it requires the reader to take in every word and craft the meaning in their own head. Very nicely done.
|
|