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Post by cafeboy on Jul 2, 2011 10:02:15 GMT -5
when pushed inside jar boy cannonballs in tousling surface confusing jelly forming fresh air
evaporated water removing door
smelling open sea returns to past he
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Post by allmirth on Jul 2, 2011 14:45:24 GMT -5
I find this a most intriguing write my friend. The imagery is both playful and ominous. Today I chose to read the last two lines as liberation, freedom and re-connection. Thanks much for sharing. Mirth
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Post by Riverrose ~April!!!~ on Jul 4, 2011 13:09:39 GMT -5
I loved those last two lines, they really completed the poem for me- as something I wish I wrote myself, as I tend to be nostalgic, and that's what it communicates to me. Overall this was a great drops, I liked the feel of it, great job putting those words together! River
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Post by ladylilith ~stalwart~ on Jul 4, 2011 13:33:40 GMT -5
I think I'm being slow this evening.. All I could think about was peanutbutter and jam - 'cause that's confusing jelly..
Naw, I really liked your Drops! It has a great stripped back vibe and yet you pack so much into those few words. A great combination of emotions; liberty, hope, curiousity.. to name a few things I felt.
Nice one!
Lily^^
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Post by bcoyotey on Jul 30, 2011 19:14:42 GMT -5
Hi CB, To me this was sheer exuberance like a kid at the beginning of summer. I isn't easy to get emotion in a DROPS but you pulled it off nicely even if my interpretation is wrong. Exalt. Lady B
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Post by cafeboy on Jul 30, 2011 20:02:25 GMT -5
Thank you Lady B! I don't often comment on a work unless someone really makes such a spot on comment, besides allmirth/k they know me too well. I would have never worded it as you did, but that's exactly the sentiment! release from structure and revitalization of youth. soooo soooo happy with your comment. ♥♥♥♥♥♥!
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Post by cambus on Aug 1, 2011 13:18:06 GMT -5
DOP inspired by cafeboy's piece:
large boy cannonballed the world's confusing problems evaporated
Your piece made me think of the mid-air mental transformation, just before you hit the water.
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