Ona Sabela
Established Muse
Sitting under this tree, I'm sure to always have lightbulbs over my head.
Posts: 203
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Post by Ona Sabela on Apr 2, 2012 18:16:40 GMT -5
The songbird, rarely appreciating inconsistent goodness, when willing to dance in shame is blind. Were it vast, even she, discreetly illumining, won't refuse gravity. Why eyne twinkle? It is he, sounding a tender goodbye.
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first attempt at D.O.P., so would appreciate ANY comments..
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Post by ladylilith ~stalwart~ on Apr 3, 2012 15:02:01 GMT -5
I love the emotive quality of this, there's something truly evocative about the phrasing. That thrid line is absolute magick! And the added injection of story in the last, like there is so much more to be said. A lovely first drops! Really impressive!
Lily^^
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Ona Sabela
Established Muse
Sitting under this tree, I'm sure to always have lightbulbs over my head.
Posts: 203
|
Post by Ona Sabela on Apr 3, 2012 23:29:03 GMT -5
Thanks, ladylilith. I was just fiddling around with the drops trying to make sense out of what seemed to me as completely random words. I actually had to look up that one word "eyne" to find out what it meant. I wasn't sure if it would fit with the rest. * tries making more drops* I have to say, I'm hooked.
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Post by Mazrocon on Apr 4, 2012 0:45:00 GMT -5
Intriguing write! Quite the archaic word 'eyne'. Yay learned a new word!
anyway... back to topic...
Your poem was thought-provoking.... Though not exactly sure where it was taking me I was enjoyed the ride (if that makes any sense).
I really like that last line.... nice one!
I didn't even know this section existed.... I'll have to try out these "drops" sometime in the future...
~TIMOTHY~
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Ona Sabela
Established Muse
Sitting under this tree, I'm sure to always have lightbulbs over my head.
Posts: 203
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Post by Ona Sabela on Apr 4, 2012 15:12:02 GMT -5
Thanks, Mazrocon. Putting it together, Even I wasn't sure where I was going..
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