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Post by Gothinius on Aug 27, 2004 14:15:20 GMT -5
I danced beneath the ashes, Fully moved with ghosts. Rhyming made my eyes of fears Embrace the given rose, Buried in a haunted spring, A deadly blossom, I breathe. First to melt, Severe in sting, I recoiled and found An end to me. Copyright © 2004 - 2005 Gothinius/gothinius2
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2004 14:56:47 GMT -5
Nice work Goth. Like the last two lines.
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Post by 4got10angl on Aug 29, 2004 20:00:44 GMT -5
cools...the first two lines grabbed my attention! ;D nice write!
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Post by ¤ Maeka Amanite ¤ (WD) on Sept 3, 2004 11:40:07 GMT -5
Yes, very cool. Probably took a while to find the right words. Hehe.
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Post by smilingthrulife on Sept 4, 2004 16:41:57 GMT -5
This gave me a chuckle. You had good rhythmn through the whole poem Good write.
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Post by ThousandFaces on Sept 7, 2004 18:32:06 GMT -5
As I have said before I love pretty much all poems about roses. They hold a special place in my heart.
Roses are forever.
Your Humble and Obedient Servant,
T.F.
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Mary
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by Mary on Sept 19, 2004 13:03:29 GMT -5
Extraordinary imagery, especially given the limited word choices.
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Sardonic Sadism
Wandering Muse
"Only in sleep do I find any respite from the world."
Posts: 62
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Post by Sardonic Sadism on Aug 13, 2005 1:17:59 GMT -5
Chilling work. It had a certain light quality to it that made the dark message seem almost...joyful. Very well done. This is one short poem that gets its point across excellently.
(Wow! I just realized this was in the Drops of Poetry section. I could never construct something this good from the word selection! Great piece!)
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Post by louve on Sept 3, 2005 22:31:25 GMT -5
I loved this piece!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by pyropoet on Sept 8, 2005 14:58:33 GMT -5
well written, i especially liked the last line. nice finish
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Absinthe Minded
Wandering Muse
Alea iacta est "The die has been cast" (Caesar)
Posts: 37
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Post by Absinthe Minded on Sept 14, 2005 2:14:27 GMT -5
This was pretty damn good man.... I just tried out the whole drops of poetry thing and it did not come out half as good as this... Keep up the good work
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Post by Elf(...drowning in tears...) on Sept 20, 2005 4:58:07 GMT -5
wow,this is very creative and extraordinary!You kicked a** with this piece!
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