arty
Wandering Muse
Posts: 17
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Post by arty on Jul 13, 2006 19:49:16 GMT -5
lady exhaled her smile charm melted so shy sun drank espresso to keep on, her eye sunlight burned the dreams when moon no more high who dare to scare when you get to fly anyway age run after the grave who can deny.. .... .. but who got the last smile?
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Post by lifeart on Jul 14, 2006 11:14:47 GMT -5
this flows nicely but I can't say that I completely understand it...
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arty
Wandering Muse
Posts: 17
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Post by arty on Jul 14, 2006 16:26:44 GMT -5
hi again lifeart, thanks for ur reply.. and can u tell me which part confused u plz?
thanks again for giving me a chance and reading my work..
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Post by lifeart on Jul 15, 2006 14:27:15 GMT -5
who dare to scare when you get to fly anyway age run after the grave who can deny
I can follow the first lines, but once you hit these^ I got a little confused. What was the message you were trying to get across?
I do like the last line though, "but who got the last smile?"
lifeart
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arty
Wandering Muse
Posts: 17
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Post by arty on Jul 15, 2006 15:57:22 GMT -5
ah ok..
"who dare to scare when you get to fly" before this was talking about the end of dreams (no life without dreams) so it must be a scary thing but the smile made people feel like flying so who dare to object and stop this wonderful feeling..
"anyway age run after the grave who can deny" finally even if it will be the end of the world and everyone will die..who care? if eventually that what will happen..
-the purpose was to write an imaginary description about enchantment smile of a lady and what it did coz to the world.. -the message about who got the last smile?..means, yes the lady was smiling at the first but at last who go it?..
hope i could explain well..if not, i'll try again ^_^ and sorry for this looong explanation but i couldn't make it shorter..
thanks again..
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Post by lifeart on Jul 15, 2006 22:42:19 GMT -5
Yeah, that makes it a little clearer. I did get the message about the dreams when reading the poem but I somehow got lost. It might have been the part about dying, I didn't pick up on that one. Thanks!
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arty
Wandering Muse
Posts: 17
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Post by arty on Jul 17, 2006 6:37:02 GMT -5
thanks to you.. well dying was coz no more dreams..life with no dreaming is like death..that's how I see it.. even if sometimes it's better to don't have dreams..
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