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Post by violist on Oct 20, 2007 21:05:49 GMT -5
Mr. Kipling's river Poured outside the window; it Flowed vertically.
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Post by bradmckenzie(The Comeback Kid) on Oct 21, 2007 0:10:26 GMT -5
nice short and sweet
a mere one syllable off from a haiku (6 in the first line) but i'll go ahead and give it haiku status
it's beautiful, tho
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Post by violist on Oct 21, 2007 12:05:06 GMT -5
Aw, darn, I didn't see that first line thing... Thanks for the comment anyway!
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Post by Sir Daniel on Oct 21, 2007 16:01:33 GMT -5
Bravo my friend, you have taken those scattered drops and made something of value. I didn't even originally attempt to see this as a haiku but now that it has been pointed out I find that it is twice as good as I originally thought.
Well done.
Daniel
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Post by bcoyotey on Oct 24, 2007 17:10:33 GMT -5
Violists, I applaud your ability to have such a free flowing and impacting drops piece. I never though of combining a Haiku and a drops poem. It is a perfect merging. You have my mind racing. Might you replace the first word with M. instead of Mr? Either way, I am impressed. Lady B
(great title)
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Post by violist on Oct 24, 2007 20:27:43 GMT -5
I didn't see any "m's" in the drops... but thank you all for your great comments, it means quite a lot to me.
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Post by bcoyotey on Oct 25, 2007 8:26:04 GMT -5
We are allowed to change tenses, so I don't think it would be cheating. I still love this. I've never done a drops. Mmm.. Lady B
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