aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 24, 2008 6:05:33 GMT -5
How did you pull this off with a Drops poem? I must say, even when the challenge seems difficult, you pull through with an entry that is so well described. With a set amount of words, you really used them to the best of their ability and created something that I must say I have to exalt for.
Great Drops and challenge entry! I look forward to seeing this in the voting ring.
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 31, 2008 7:47:12 GMT -5
Whatyasee:
I found this very interesting! Even on the first stanza, I was compelled just to comment. As Tamish said above, the words were "Dropped" here, but I can see the quality of each word being dropped and making a precise, fragile chain.
The first stanza was my favorite and the one I shall comment on...
Growth can come from the most unlikely sources. Not sure if that was what you were aiming for, but it definitely was what was portrayed to me! Nice job!
Great write, thanks for sharing! I have to move this to the Drops of Poetry board, however.
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 23, 2008 0:20:57 GMT -5
Dan; what a fruitful write from the Drops! I love the descriptions of the romantic atmosphere that you pulled off in the first stanza. Just the use of nouns and no verbs give it a unique edge, but we are instantly drawn in to what you are describing.
The open-endedness of the last line is wonderful and I can only imagine what is had. The simple actions supported by the first stanza give this romantic scene some vivid life!
Great write, thanks for sharing!
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 24, 2008 7:10:24 GMT -5
Haha, DOR, I doubt that mine is better than yours, but then again, we are our harshest critic. I don't think I would have thought of taking our Travian Drops the way you did. And the use of 1936... Haha, I was trying to use that too many times but never could. LB - Oh, I hope you enjoy it LB! It is a very fun game that helps consume some free-time when and if you have it. Considering your reply was made almost a week ago and you have been stuck in that imagery for that long, I suppose it is long overdue that I feed you, but here you go. *hands down some treats and drinks*. Hope it lasts Thanks for the comments guys ^_^
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 17, 2008 19:41:58 GMT -5
Troops pour in like champagne splashing in a goblet. Candles lit have a scent of a beautiful lotus and blood shed.
Easter Sunday's not envious. The army attacks a village driven not by God but blood shed.
The alliance president drinks fermented vines while stable doors bloom dragons by blood shed.
Blind thoughts fizz over the cordial charming the decisions for which we feast, bubbling blood shed.
I'm a captive of Travian sitting and building fields for resources. I have nobility; smell Its wanted incense.
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 15, 2008 19:06:37 GMT -5
The transition of winter to spring and summer here is captivating! It must have taken you quite a while to write this on the Drops. Excellent job! As LB pointed out, the last stanza is one of my favorites, as well. Great write, thanks for sharing Welcome to TPS! I hope you enjoy your stay here!
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 20, 2008 11:12:12 GMT -5
Ooh, very observant Violist! That makes sense, as well. With Christmas over, perhaps the joyousness of the season, too has fallen onto the white snow. Thank you for the comment! I enjoy finding depth from even the shallowest pools and you are aiding me in that goal!
Kudos.
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 13, 2008 16:24:13 GMT -5
Haha, quite the creation bupaje -- thanks for the comment Very ingenious haha
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Mar 5, 2008 18:46:45 GMT -5
Thanks all for the comments and I agree, now that I see your reasoning, I can find that same message. I knew there was more to this Haiku than what I thought! haha. Thanks all <3
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aoeclald
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Post by aoeclald on Feb 19, 2008 7:05:38 GMT -5
White snow shimmering, the red Christmas lights fallen. Good-bye to Santa. This, to me, has so much more meaning that even I can't even begin to find. A simple child wanting Christmas to come back? No, there is something more but I can't pinpoint it exactly... someone help!
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