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Post by Forest on Jan 15, 2009 20:48:51 GMT -5
A mountain in clouds Is found to lift An outcry to a shimmer; It sweeps a valence Rapid around, reduces Vexation. Wilted atrocity: My melancholy, leaves To sunflower road.
Surrounding my limbs Is a basic drive, A Tattooed ambience.
Wind falls To dress My metamorphosis
—
Homeland found.
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Post by clearbluespark on Jan 16, 2009 0:10:30 GMT -5
hmm...interesting way to use the drops...love so many combination of the lines...good work!
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Post by bobswife4ever (surgery soon) on Jan 16, 2009 0:37:12 GMT -5
Forest, I really enjoyed this. The whole thing was mesmerizing, but the following had to be what gripped me the most: Nicely done and good to see you posting in here. I do look forward to reading more of your work in here and throughout the boards. Nicely done, as usual.
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Post by Created2Write on Jan 16, 2009 11:22:03 GMT -5
Hi Forest, interesting format to this drop. It just kind of wound itself around to finding the homeland. Good write. Peace, C2W
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Post by matw63 on Jan 23, 2009 10:24:08 GMT -5
Forest - I enjoyed this, it reads like a shower of thoughts and dreams.
nicely done
Mat
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Post by unsinkmolly on Jan 24, 2009 12:41:58 GMT -5
Homeland Found [already a positive] A mountain in clouds [lovely way to launch this, strong image] Is found to lift An outcry to a shimmer; [how lovely ... well put... ] It sweeps a valence [interesting] Rapid around, reduces [nice r's] Vexation. Wilted atrocity: [such hope implied] My melancholy, leaves To sunflower road. [such positive and bright connotations with sunflower] Surrounding my limbs Is a basic drive, A Tattooed ambience. [this is really merging abstract with concrete... all these drop words really make us stretch to exciting dimensions.. you do it especially well! flirting with oxymoron and the existential at same time] Wind falls To dress My metamorphosis [again... very confidentally expressed.. and reader wants to wrap mind around the metaphors, though so wide] — Homeland found. [peaceful payoff] good going, forest. molly
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