phoenixalexis
Established Muse
I'd like to paint a moving image
Posts: 230
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Post by phoenixalexis on Apr 6, 2010 10:37:15 GMT -5
Foreseeing a memory, Hypothetical transformation, Constant, digital signals.
Vessels pump faithfully under uniform, Muscle heresy doubles, Specialist speaks, swears Examiner; the procedure is frequent.
When the screen rolls down, The void renewing horror, Emerging, The capitalist, rages, Of triggers, aliens and explosions,
He can't listen, Addressing the stiff, revised envelopes, That were his company's, To steer to confidential coordinates.
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Post by Astarael ~ Enduring on Apr 13, 2010 20:34:26 GMT -5
wow this was an excellent drops, I was impressed by the length and the topic was really well expressed. Gorgeous work.
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Post by unsinkmolly on Apr 15, 2010 23:07:15 GMT -5
very provocative! m
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Post by marise on Apr 19, 2010 23:42:45 GMT -5
I agree, the length and depth of imagery is fantastic. I would never have guessed that you had any constraint on words.
These lines were my favourite
Vessels pump faithfully under uniform, Muscle heresy doubles,
How else could you describe capitalism? Perfect drops. Well done
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Post by girlwiththepearls on Sept 24, 2010 17:13:59 GMT -5
I like the complexity of this piece, the double emphasis on "the capitalist" and on what I interpreted as his empire. I agree everyone else, it's very evocative and well put together, the technical language creating a world defined by mechanics and removal.
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