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Post by jujujellybean on May 12, 2011 15:21:59 GMT -5
Dramatic, she staggers in, instinctively dashing into unsafe youthful ideas.
Foolishly, she reaches across wide spaces in rumbling attack, a hazard to obstacles to the grasses beneath, the birds, the sprouting flowers. To herself.
Jumping, she tosses wrongs to the abstract, ridding the playgrounds of it's silent obstacles to the Summer. She is the leader, the fool.
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Post by - Moirae - on May 12, 2011 16:58:10 GMT -5
Welcome to TPS! If you have any questions feel free to PM me.
Your opening line is captivating and makes me wish I had thought of that combination sooner. Great little story you wove into this poem; this is quite an 'entrance' for the speaker and yourself. I look forward to what else you have to offer. Thank you for sharing this drops and I hope to see you around the boards.
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Post by ladylilith ~stalwart~ on May 14, 2011 3:53:49 GMT -5
These are strong and powerful drops! I felt myself falling into your words. This is utterly captivating. Truly lovely.
Lily^^
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Post by marise on May 19, 2011 22:29:20 GMT -5
Yes, welcome to TPS I loved the originality in this poem, you captured me with this girl's story, with her hesitancy, her awkwardness, the way she poses as the leader, the confident, when really she is as scared as all those who show it - all those aware of the invisible obstacles in the playground, the subtle behaviours, glances, unspoken rules of social interaction. There is also a feeling of self destruction in the pretense, the way the real her slowly diminishes every time she pretends to be someone else. Brilliant poetry
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