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Post by ladylilith ~stalwart~ on Sept 4, 2011 10:19:36 GMT -5
**Joint first with RiverRose's entry in Jah's Drops Challenge.. So maybe there were only two entries.. But still.. Heh heh.Head pushed under white water bog, Air removed, eyes splashed black. Cannonballed; world's wildly evaporated, Flounder; goose-pimples formed. Threw inside a silent barking fiction, Confused, tousled weather.. Teeth painted bright, Shining off the surface, Shrugged; problems edge lifted.
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Post by inflames on Sept 4, 2011 19:21:40 GMT -5
SWow Lilly. This is fantastic. I love your use of punctuation- it really helps me identify with the speaker of this piece. I adore this. Wonderful work and a great one for that first place trophy.
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Post by Astarael ~ Enduring on Sept 7, 2011 1:53:30 GMT -5
I loved this so much when I read it. Such fluidity is a rare thing for drops pieces and you've done an excellent job here.
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Post by - Moirae - on Sept 10, 2011 17:07:30 GMT -5
Very thought-provoking drops. I agree with Flames about your use of punctuation it just made the poem shine. Very nicely penned. Great work Lilith.
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Post by dragonfilth on Sept 17, 2011 11:41:50 GMT -5
very awesome the queen on meshing words and making look beautiful
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Post by AoR on Sept 22, 2011 3:03:19 GMT -5
I love the flow of this, as well as the variety of words here. Very unique and a captivating mesh of imagery. I really loved those two opening lines! Just brilliant, all around.
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