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Post by Chelle on Nov 27, 2011 17:42:38 GMT -5
When it returned Painted head swimming tousled black Confusing wildly teeth and back problems The family shrugged silent Removed fresh skin Surface tough, leading steps She marched past with bright eyes Entered the large house Pushed the door open Kicked loosened floor tiles Off white hickory walls Walked inside to work
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Post by ~k~(tornadoes) on Dec 1, 2011 5:07:20 GMT -5
I like this. Nice write
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Post by nickadams on Dec 1, 2011 9:19:22 GMT -5
Write on! wonderful selection and arrangement of words.
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Post by Astarael ~ Enduring on Dec 2, 2011 0:57:04 GMT -5
Brilliant drops, very clever use of the words, much enjoyed.
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Post by ~ Sasha ~ on Dec 2, 2011 15:43:41 GMT -5
As Jah says, Brilliant drops and awesome use of words. I Love it!
Sasha
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Post by ladylilith ~stalwart~ on Dec 30, 2011 12:36:07 GMT -5
I like the sense of hard work and trepedation even here. I couldn't help but feel that roll-your-sleeves-up-and-get-on-with-it sentiment.. A clever piece of drops, I think you've given the reader an option to interpret this in different ways. For me, it was all about family and its function, and how work can begin when you go home..
Great Drops Chelle!
Lily^^
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Post by 3M2R [DongSaeng] on Jan 15, 2012 0:48:00 GMT -5
brilliant piece of descriptive poem! Keep writing!
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