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Post by firefly501 on Apr 19, 2005 22:36:21 GMT -5
Death of Feelings
Buried beneath the cold slate gray of a hollow haunted heart Drowning in my exhaled tears Choking on ashes of our past love My naked exposed soul moves silently in quiet anquish with nothing but the ghosts of dreams to embrace Attempting to feel I scratch open jagged scars of old wounds that still linger strewn over cold unfeeling marble stones There is no warmth No joy I neither see nor smell the flowers With the death of old feelings I envision no spring
Very much a novice but would welcome any comments.
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Post by Rose of the Forgotten on Apr 20, 2005 23:32:57 GMT -5
firefly501, A perfect winter on the inside of such a beautiful shell. Great work, I enjoyed the read a lot. Keep the posts up!
-- Jus
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Post by dlebrtstrngr on Apr 21, 2005 13:31:19 GMT -5
Hey,
I just read your poem. It was nice. There was one thing that I felt could've enhanced my reading and that would be the inclusion of punctuation. Keep 'em coming.
Until...
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Post by firefly501 on Apr 22, 2005 19:52:33 GMT -5
Thank you both for the kind comments -- and yes I do have a little trouble with punctuation I do enjoy the reads here and hope to post more myself.
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