arty
Wandering Muse
Posts: 17
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Post by arty on Jul 10, 2006 10:32:20 GMT -5
search for moment write a hollow rhyme bunny cookie poverty... follow your free charm freedom in nothing exist let it out NOW
fears sneak freedom stops speak
naked the smiles blossom cry found beneath laugh silently dead soul sound
fears sneak freedom stops speak
soul art is free dances dances on the moon dancing with no gravity no falling fear no falling tear
fears shrink in freedom ink
when your soul become your pen know you win
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Post by lifeart on Jul 10, 2006 13:48:40 GMT -5
I like the way you worded some of this, and didn't like the way you worded other parts, but overall I like the message of the story. I like the last line. Welcome to TPS! Keep posting!
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arty
Wandering Muse
Posts: 17
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Post by arty on Jul 11, 2006 9:25:51 GMT -5
thanks lifeart, and you're right I have the same opinion about it.. and thanks for welcoming..
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Post by - Moirae - on Jul 11, 2006 19:14:09 GMT -5
i really have to agree with lifeart on this one...great work...please keep posting!
welcome to TPS! if you need anything or have any questions feel free to PM me!
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arty
Wandering Muse
Posts: 17
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Post by arty on Jul 12, 2006 13:52:07 GMT -5
thanks a lot Moirae.. and thanks for this nice welcoming too..
the important thing is to feel the enjoy after reading and i hope that i could do it..
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