|
Post by pafaniqz on Aug 8, 2007 13:16:17 GMT -5
I broke sweet mesmerized breath for incredible stars on ice. Like a May-fashioned stranger he dove, his dust wings, at night, an angel-faced cancer. I ran silent, believing in ashes: a white wish for abandon was in my hands. I need an ocean of his grave innocence, a powerful child of rain droplet cars. Yep. It's short and weird. This is my first post, but that doesn't excuse the weirdness.
|
|
|
Post by inflames on Aug 12, 2007 0:03:30 GMT -5
Brilliantly weird. I think the weirdness makes it enjoyable.
|
|
|
Post by bcoyotey on Aug 16, 2007 20:25:49 GMT -5
pafaniqz, Welcome! Congratulations on your first post. I was captured by these lines, I broke sweet mesmerized breath for incredible stars on ice. Like a May-fashioned stranger he dove, his dust wings, at night, an angel-faced cancer. I ran silent, believing in ashes: a white wish for abandon was in my hands. Very nice. Lady B
|
|
|
Post by xaimai on Aug 18, 2007 11:25:18 GMT -5
oh i loved this, the weirdness was perfection, it just made it seem so original and exciting to read. fantastic piece!
x x x x x
|
|
|
Post by itsonlyme on Aug 21, 2007 4:15:21 GMT -5
The more I read it, the more I love it. Strange collection of thoughts, put together beautifully, to think about something differently. . .thank you! Caryn
|
|
anthema
Established Muse
Posts: 369
|
Post by anthema on Aug 29, 2007 20:22:18 GMT -5
I'm with itsonlyme - the more I read this poem the more intriguing it becomes.
I have images of Evangelion meets Bladerunner meets Paradise Lost meets Phaethon - and they're just the ones I can identify from the turmoil of my mind...
This is very well done, imho.
Anthema
|
|