saif
New Member
Posts: 1
|
Post by saif on Jun 11, 2009 6:36:58 GMT -5
the night ended but the day never came Oh! she holds the light, to let us see
never was a day, so dark, so deep she took the sight from us to see
the depth of evil, the dark shows she took the sight from us to see
darkness shines so brightly the hypocrisy! please! make us see
the thicket blocks the light out struggle is the pathway to make us see
|
|
|
Post by bcoyotey on Jun 17, 2009 14:59:24 GMT -5
saif, I like the repeating line. It gives the poem more umph. The last line really brought things home. Great Drops. I hope to see more of your writing. Welcome to TPS. Lady B
|
|
|
Post by bobswife4ever (surgery soon) on Jun 20, 2009 14:56:16 GMT -5
This is so incredible. The repetition really brought this piece home for me. So often we are blinded by so many things in life that we can't see what is truly important to us until it is too late. That's what this piece made me relate to as I was reading it. I look forward to reading more from you throughout the boards here at TPS. Nicely done.
|
|
|
Post by Astarael ~ Enduring on Jul 29, 2009 5:36:20 GMT -5
you convey the despair of darkness, wishing for sight that was lost, i felt this in my heart, it leaped off the page at me. I hope to see more of your work.
|
|