M.R. Inkless
Established Muse
And dawn discovered her there, beneath the cedar's stare.
Posts: 394
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Post by M.R. Inkless on Apr 2, 2005 11:24:43 GMT -5
well, i think its good. lol. the only lines im not especially fond or are: Of the lingering battle of vanilla joy Against espresso tears
i think it hurts the imagery/flow/thing of the poem. but im no expert.
some lines i really liked were: Beneath myself Buried in the ashes of the hollow earth
overall, good write.
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M.R. Inkless
Established Muse
And dawn discovered her there, beneath the cedar's stare.
Posts: 394
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Post by M.R. Inkless on Mar 22, 2005 15:43:09 GMT -5
dude, that gave me chills. such a vivid image. i can relate to writing poems like this, i've many. and i know they don't just appear. so good luck with whatever it is that inspired you to write this.
firefairy.
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M.R. Inkless
Established Muse
And dawn discovered her there, beneath the cedar's stare.
Posts: 394
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Post by M.R. Inkless on Feb 25, 2005 16:30:57 GMT -5
i know, some people, its just like, you look at them and everything else melts away. thank you all for your comments, im really glad to get positive feedback. especially on such a close-to-my-heart topic.
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M.R. Inkless
Established Muse
And dawn discovered her there, beneath the cedar's stare.
Posts: 394
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Post by M.R. Inkless on Feb 13, 2005 0:21:32 GMT -5
thoughts blossom with truths draped in white and sprinkled in black your smile, like a broom brushing away the dark
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